All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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