just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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