So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
