its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
