I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize