I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
jump out the window naked night went bad
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
