Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
