found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
