she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize