She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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