I'm going to jail i love you
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize