I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
