he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You just made me feel so damn special
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
