I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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