I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
