the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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