i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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