Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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