Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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