shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just high enough for therapy.
Boobs are out for the taking
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
