my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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