i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize