I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
