I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
