I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I'm having to shit out rocks
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