Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize