The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
