Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
