Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
