were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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