STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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