Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
