She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
