You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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