the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
