ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
