Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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