I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
