how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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