so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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