handjob tips. give me some.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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