butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
