What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize