dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Dicks are not precious.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize