I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
