u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
