id be glad to
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
