your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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