she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Sext me about skeletons
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
