I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
