her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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