you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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