hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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