I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Ladies don't puke and tell
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
