just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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