Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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