Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
