the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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