seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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