she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
