Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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