she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize