Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
