I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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