She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
