U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
